Rise and shine campers… it’s Ground-hog-Day.

I know you were probably expecting another post about the “quickie” today, but a far more important event in my life has happened today. Punxsutawney Phil has prognosticated the coming of spring.

groundhog-day-bill-murrayFor most of this long, cold winter, I’ve been hunkered down avoiding the frigid sub-80 temperatures here in the Southwestern Frozen Tundra. Last night it was even below freezing… around 31 degrees. Burrrrrr. Really… it was 31 degrees when I went out this morning and I had to scrape ice off the windshield. Double burrrrrrr!

Just the same, Punxsutawney Phil put a smile on my face this morning. It’s reported that he did not see his shadow and as everyone knows, that means an early spring. It wasn’t only Punxsutawney Phil that made this prediction… similar rodents all over North America have made the same prediction. According to sources, Wiarton Willie (Canada), General Beau Lee (Atlanta), Jimmy the Groundhog (Wisconsin) and Staten Island Chuck (New York) have all made the same prediction.

I hear you… you are scoffing at any predictions groundhogs, woodchucks, and whistlepigs make. But not so fast. According to the Washington Post and wikepedia (my bible), the furry fellows have been quite accurate in their forecasts. One source reports that they have been 75% – 90% accurate. Ok… that source was the Groundhog Day Organizers, but they wouldn’t lie… would they?

If the organizers might seam biased to you, the Washington Post adds that AccuWeather reports the rodents have an 80% accuracy rate. Even though official sources may vary… I’m going with the furry fellows… an early spring YEA!!!!!


NEWS FLASH – Al Roker, NBC’s legendary meteorologist (only surpassed by KNBC’s Fritz Coleman), has “called out” Punxsutawney Phil. According to Roker on this morning’s Today Show, there wasn’t a cloud in the sky over Gobblers Knob. An investigation into a rodent conspiracy has begun. Is it possible that woodchucks from all over can be in cahoots together to give us false hope?

Investigators into this are quick to point out that a law suit was brought against Punxsutawney Phil by an Ohio attorney a couple of years ago. The attorney claimed Punxsutawney Phil misrepresented an early spring, and was seeking the death penalty for the rodent. The case was thrown out of court as Ohio has no jurisdiction over Pennsylvania groundhogs. (Source: Washington Post)

Another source reports it was the Groundhog Committee that decided to report an early spring without consulting the intrepid Punxsutawney Phil. Was it a conspiracy… or was it just that the committee in the moments before sunrise was too rushed to check the forecast. Had they already made their decision to deceive the American people… or was it caused by all the commotion and noise of all the hoopla as Punxsutawney Phil emerged.

Or… did they simply misunderstand the utterances of the woodchuck. After all, there was a new woodchuck translator for this year’s festivities. Also, it is reoprted that the translator may have been distracted because he was trying to find out how much wood Punxsutawney Phil had chucked in the past 12 months.

Follow the on-going investigation on your local news channel at 10.

As for me, I’m truly hoping for an early spring. This year my plan is to make my trek to the Northernmost Caribbean (AKA Fort Walton Beach, Fl.) in time for all the Spring Break festivities. Those of you following me for the last few years know that my journey to the Emerald Coast has been later and later in the year. This year I’m trying to return there at the beginning of the rolling Spring Break weeks. I just can’t wait for those luscious white mounds.

Mounds of sand of course… what were you thinking about.



Hola desde bonita Ensenada… Hi from beautiful Ensenada. I’m starting this post from the Starbucks within walking distance from the ship. You may be getting the idea that I would rather have a good cup of coffee than a frozen concoction to help me hang on. Usually you would be correct. But… today my quest is to find a place to buy Rancho Escondido tequila. Well, that is, after I have a decent cup of coffee.

 You see, I visited Cabo on a cruise about a year ago. I should have gone there again this year too, because it’s fifteen or twenty degrees warmer farther south. Anyway, in Cabo I went to a place called “The Happy Ending”. They had a special: two shots and two beers for five bucks. That price seemed to be too good to be true. I figured it would be a very small glass of beer and a thimble size shot of tequila. But no… these were full size shots and two regular bottles of beer.

I didn’t drink the beer, but the guy I was with said it was good. (Bloody Mary stayed back on the boat for this one.) Added to this, I had never done shots before. So that was a first for me:

Ariba – Abajo – Al Centro – Al Dentro… that’s sort of the Mexican version of “Over the lips and past the gums… look out stomach, here it comes”. First, limes were prepared as was a little salt on the back of my hand. I licked the salt… and then it was “down the hatch”. I fully expected to wretch and gag with some foul, burning stuff going down my throat. Instead, the tequila went nicely. A quick suck on the lime and I let out an aaaaahhhhhhhhh.

Yeah, there was a bit of burn, but it was OK. My friend and fellow piano bar enthusiast Laura has the motto, “I’ll try anything twice… once to see if I like it. And a second time to confirm my opinion.” Since the first shot seemed pretty good, I needed to confirm my opinion.

After the second shot, my opinion was confirmed… this was pretty good stuff. On the day, a number of other shots went down. I have since been told that before making it back to the ship, there were some bikini clad twenty-somethings involved. I plead complete innocence. It’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

Now the point of telling you about that cruise, is my quest today is to find some of that Tequila. Before I staggered out of “The Happy Ending” we found out that the brand of tequila they used for the shots is “Rancho Escondido”. Ok… I didn’t remember that, but the guy I was with took a picture of the bottle on his phone.

It turns out that you can’t buy Rancho Escondido in the U.S. Hence today’s quest. I’ve finished my coffee, so it’s time to get to it. More later…

OK… it’s later.

Before I tell you where I found the Rancho Escondido, I need to mention, that I really don’t like Ensenada. The first time I came here, also on a cruise, I decided I really didn’t ever want to go back. Well, this is my fourth cruise back here. And I still don’t like it. But since I like cruising, this just happens to be where the ship goes. So the only reason I got off the ship today was for the Tequila.

You can walk to the “downtown” area (and the Starbucks) from the ship. It’s about 3/4 of a mile from the ship’s gang-plank to Starbucks and a couple of short blocks from there to the “downtown” area. I put the “downtown” area in quotes, because the area I’m talking about is really just a Grande Tourista Trap-o. I suspect it’s what the locals think the Gringo del Norte’s are looking for… barkers from every store trying to pull you in to make a great deal on the junk they have. “Come in… look around… I make you a good deal my Amigo.”

There are lots of pharmacias in the area. I think these are mostly for the Gringos Del Norte too. There are huge signs for Viagra, Cialis and the like. In case you can’t read, there’s a superman like character with a big “V” on his chest… ViagraMan. ViagraMan has a large bulge in his pants.

Viagra Man -  Standing proud

Viagra Man – Standing proud

I thought it quite amusing that the “Be Happy Pharmacy” only had mention of Viagra and Cialis on their great big sign… with a maternity cloths store right next door.

Buy Viagra, Cialis and then go next door to buy maternity clothes.

Buy Viagra, Cialis and then go next door to buy maternity clothes.

All along the way there are street vendors trying to sell you a grain of rice, or a little bracelet with your name on them. A variety of beggars are there to greet you as you pass by. They say nothing… just holding out their tin cup and rattling a few pesos they have in it. You’ll also find old ladies supervising little children… maybe four to six year old children. The children are instructed to go to each Gringo passerby to hold up their box and offer “chickleys?” I don’t know if they think this is what Gringos expect or what. But I guess I’m a sucker. If I have any pesos as change, I always give it to someone on my way back to the ship. I just hope that at the end of the day they don’t go around the corner, get in their new Mercedes and drive home.

Get away from this area and I suspect the rest of Ensenada is quite different. I know there’s a Walmart, McDonalds, Home Depot, Ashley Furnature and an Applebees Neighborhood grill and bar. I’m not making any of that up… it’s all in an area where I suspect there’s normal life. That area is about 3.5 miles south of the cruise port.

But for the tourists, there’s “downtown.” It’s interesting to go there the first time, but after that… well, if I wasn’t looking for the tequila I would never go “downtown”. From past trips I knew that there were tons of liquor stores “downtown”… and I went into most of them. But, no Rancho Escondido. They all wanted to “make me a deal” on some expensive tequilas, but none had what I wanted.

I was about to give up, but something told me to try something else. I was out to the edge of the Grande Tourista Trap-o and spotted a grocery store. I went in, wandered around a little bit and found a section where they had wine and…. ta-daaaaahhhhhh, Rancho Escondido. I looked at the price… did a quick conversion… let’s see… 68 pesos at about 6 cents to a peso… or is it six pesos to a dollar or…

Well, it didn’t seem to bad so I grabbed three bottles. When I got to the check-out they translated it into dollars for me… not quite $12.00. In my best Spanish I asked, “?Cada Uno?” The reply came back, “No… por los tres”. No, for all three. I should have brought a bigger back-pack.

Rancho Escondido - mmmmmm-mmmmm good

Rancho Escondido – mmmmmm-mmmmm good

With that I merrily headed back to the ship… passing back through “downtown”. No, I don’t want any women… no, I don’t want any dope… or anything else you’re trying to sell.

When I got back to the ship, my backpack with all the tequila in it went through the scanner. The security guy told me I had to check my booze in at the table and I could pick it up at the end of the cruise. I did check it in… both bottles.

Adios, Ensenada


Catalina Island

The first time I went to Catalina Island I was a tween-ager… around twelve or thirteen. My parents owned a 16-foot cabin cruiser. One weekend we went to Long Beach to launch our boat for a day adventure. It was a really nice day. As we were launching the boat we could see Catalina. It’s only 21 miles off shore. So, on the spur of the moment my parents decided we would go there and spend the night.

Off we went… it probably only took around an hour or a little more to get there. It was a reasonably nice ride getting there… considering it was a 16-foot boat. We looked around the stores and shops a bit during the day and went to the old “casino” in the evening. Even back then it wasn’t a casino. The only thing I remember was it had some kind of stars on the ceiling of what was then a theater. The presentation was something about the universe.

When we got up the next day the weather had set in. Visibility was only a mile or two and the seas had risen to 10-12 foot swells. For me, it was a great adventure to head out into the ocean with those swells. I thought, “People pay extra for such thrill rides and I was getting it for free”. And since we couldn’t see land we had to navigate just using a little compass on the dashboard. No GPS or electronic navigation in those days. Yes indeed, great adventure for a tween-ager. I just didn’t understand why my dad seemed so concerned.

This time… many moons later, the boat is a teeeeny bit bigger… an 850+ foot long, zillion ton, cruise ship. We sailed from Long Beach around 5:30 P.M. It took about 14 hours to get to Catalina. All the stuff on the island is there just like when I was a kid… well, sort of. I don’t think much has changed in the years since I was first there. But somehow, I remember Avalon as being a lot bigger.

For all of the following pics, you can click into them for full size.

Avalon is a small village surrounded by desert hills.

Avalon is a small village surrounded by desert hills. You can see the famous “Casino” in the middle right of the pic.

The town of Avalon is small. You can see from the pics it is little more than a village next to the little harbor. Most of the island is a desert and there are very few permanent folks living there. The total population is a little over four thousand. Most of them, about 3500, live in Avalon. The other principal place is “Two Harbors” where around three hundred people live. Cruise folks rarely go to Two Harbors.

The cruise ships now have large tenders to get you ashore. The last time I was on a cruise here they used boats that were only a little bigger than a rowboat. When we went ashore in those tenders, Bloody Mary was a little nervous… and a little green. These new tenders are large, stable ships and can take maybe a couple hundred people… a vast improvement over the old tenders.

I didn’t do any of the tours that are available. But I did gather up a lot of information  about the tours that are offered locally. Perhaps I’ll write a guide later on. For today I just did a walk-about.

A variety of tours you can do yourself. There's a park in the middle of town where you pick up these tours.

A variety of tours you can do yourself. There’s a park in the middle of town where you pick up these tours.

You can walk around most of the Avalon area in a few hours. There are lots of quaint shops to look in. Yes, some are the standard tourist type shops like in a lot of the Caribbean ports, but Catalina is different. Instead of being covered with trinket places, there are a variety of boutique stores with clothing, art, and collectables.

There are boutique type shops all along the Avalon bay.

There are boutique type shops all along the Avalon bay.

I found a nice little place to have a good cup of coffee. I like coffee most mornings, but the coffee on cruise ships is PATOOOOOYYYY. I usually bring some of those coffee bags with me so all I need is just hot water to have something that passes for coffee. But this time I didn’t bring any because this is just a quickie. So… I was really glad to find the Catalina Coffee and Cookie Co. It’s just a little place in the “Metropole Marketplace” with outdoor tables.

Even though it was a little cool, I sat outside and used their internet (free with purchase) to check email and such. I didn’t bring my computer with me… I had decided not to post the “live froms”… so I just used my smart phone to check on stuff. What a world we live in today. Anyway. I would have stopped in there for the coffee even if there were no internet. There coffee was really good. I won’t try to tell you exactly where it is because I would only confuse you. But… if you are a coffee lover, Google the Catalina Coffee and Cookie Co. before you go to find out where it is. Oh… I almost forgot, they have fresh homemade cookies too. I didn’t have any, but they smelled good.

Thanks to Google Earth... here's the Catalina Coffee and Cookie Co.

Thanks to Google Earth… here’s the Catalina Coffee and Cookie Co.

[One of the good things about putting the finishing touches on this stuff after the cruise is over is that I can use all the stuff on my desktop computer to give you more information. Thanks to Google Earth and a little of “paint” you can see exactly where the Catalina Coffee and Cookie Co. is. Tell them Kokomo Man sent you. And no… I don’t get anything for putting this here. Not even a free cup of coffee.]

There are also several ice cream shops. These aren’t the cheapie type… these are the mmmmmm – mmmmmm good places with 453 rich, creamy flavors for you to choose from. I thought I would just have one right after I got off the ship. But as the day wore on, I stopped in three different places. Each had its own character and the ice cream was GREAT. Now that I’m back on the ship, I wish I could have one more. Of course as it is… and with all the chocolate melting cake, I’m going to have to spend an extra 30 minutes in the gym every day of the trip.

I also strolled over to the famous casino. It’s the iconic spot on the island. A long time ago it stopped being an actual casino. Today, it’s sort of a history museum about the island. It costs five bucks to go in on a self-guided tour… twenty-five bucks for the whole guided tour. I was getting low on time so I didn’t go. Instead I just walked around and took some pics.

Here's another view of the casino. This pic is taken from water's edge in Avalon

Here’s another view of the casino. This pic is taken from water’s edge in Avalon. During the summer all of those mooring balls will have private boats hooked to them.

For those that like to SCUBA dive, there is a dive shop right in the back of the “Casino”. I have never been diving there… or anywhere off the coast of California because the water is so cold. That said, lots of people tell me that the diving in Catalina is great. There are huge kelp forests and the lots of the orange Garibaldi fish the area is known for. So if you don’t mind wearing a 7mm wet suit, it’s probably a good place to dive. I’m told it’s also a good place to snorkel.

It was still a bit chilly today… then anything below 80 is chilly to me. I didn’t expect to see anyone diving or snorkeling but sure enough there were people there. As I arrived, four people were just getting in the water at the bottom of the steps. The first two tippy-toed down into the water without saying anything. Then a third person just leaped in. Remember Chevy Chase in the movie “Vacation”… when he jumped in after a very “hot” Christine Brinkley. Well… after this guy jumped in, he came up hollarin’ “COOOOLD” (Just in case… here’s a the link to the Chevy Chase scene on youtube: )

Diving there behind the casino is a shore dive and you enter the ocean via a set of steps down to the water from the casino. You can either just rent the gear right there if you have someone to dive with or you can go with one of the dive-masters / instructors in a group. I talked to a couple of the dive masters, and they said that they put together groups throughout the day. Of course the ship offers dive tours, but I think I would rather just join a group there ashore.

They also offer “discover scuba” where people that have never been diving can give it a try. The instructors will take you through all the basics and within a little while you will be diving. Although I prefer the warm Caribbean or Florida Keys (AKA the Northern Caribbean), Catalina might be a good spot for some of you to try out SCUBA.

SCUBA divers in their thick wet suits. Burrrrrrrr!!!

SCUBA divers in their thick wet suits. Burrrrrrrr!!!

When I write the guide to Catalina, I’ll tell you about all the tours available. But for now I’ll tell you that while I was researching the tours I did find out that Carnival now offers a 110% price match guarantee. It goes something like this… “If you find the same tour offered at a lower price, they will pay you 110% of the difference”. I don’t have the details, but I will check it out and let you know.

There are also two small beaches within easy walking distance from the pier where the tenders let you off in Catalina. It was a bit cool today, so there was plenty of room on the beach. But I suspect the beaches will be quite crowded in the summer time.

Another view of Avalon as we approached the dock.

Another view of Avalon and the desert hills.

Of course there are plenty of “watering holes” within easy walking distance. That said, they don’t line the street like Key West or a lot of the Caribbean areas. I did not see any of the big chain watering holes like the Senior Frogs or Hard Rocks typical of the Caribbean. Still you won’t have any trouble finding a place to have a frozen concoction to help you hang on.

I stopped in at “Maggie’s Blue Rose” for a bite to eat and margaritas. Ok… it was mostly for the margarita, but the food was really good. Maggie’s is right there along the bay. You shouldn’t have any trouble finding it. When I come back to Catalina again, I’ll be sure to eat… and have a frozen concoction to help me hang on at Maggie’s.

Everything here was mmmmm-mmmmm good.

Everything here was mmmmm-mmmmm good.

That’s all for today. Tomorrow it’s on to Ensenada… Ole!


Day O – part II

I’m back (duh). It’s the end of Day Oh. Bloody Mary is in the casino getting rich… yeah, right. While she’s there, I’ll do a wrap up on today.

The mustard drill is about serious business. I know that. Yeah… I know, it’s muster drill, but I just can’t quite take it serious even though I know I should. Even though it’s important, Carnival continues to loose everyone’s attention. First, we gathered in one of the lounges. A moderator tells everyone to be quiet because this is important stuff. Then we sit there. After a few minutes everyone starts a little chatter. There’s nothing else coming from the moderator nor over the ship’s intercom.

Once again, the moderator asks for absolute silence… and once again, after a few minutes everyone starts a little chatter. This time, the moderator demands absolute silence and after an even shorter period everyone starts to chatter. This repeats itself several times for twenty or thirty minutes. It gets to the point where it starts to become comical. Finally, the Capi’tan comes on and says a few words that most folks can’t understand. Then the cruise director, “Goose,” comes on. By this time most folks…

Well, I’ll stop there because you get the idea. Finally, they take the whole crowd out to the area where the lifeboats are. We stood there in the chilly weather and to be honest, I don’t remember a thing that happened there. So much for the “fire drill”.

It was nearly dark by the time we sailed out of Long Beach. The harbor and coastline are all lit up and it really sparkels. There’s what looks to be a sea wall with multi-color lights, a Ferris wheel and a bunch of other stuff at some kind of amusement park. Everything adds to the sparkle. If you get a chance you really have go out on the poop deck to see it. It’s quite pretty.

I still lament the loss of live bands during the sail-away… especially the one or two man bands on the Lido deck in the afternoons or during the sail-aways. The DJ they now have is OK… but just OK. And on this ship the sound system doesn’t seem to be up to par so it is just becomes some loud background noise. Although Carnival seems to have brought back the steel-drum type band on other ships… not this one.

Dining at the “American Table”… This is Carnivals latest scheme for dining on some ships. Dinner was good and the service was what I’ve come to expect from Carnival… which means very good. But… now here it comes… Carnival seems to have hit the height of cheapness. Their “American style” dining sucks. They’ve started by doing away with the tablecloths. That in and of itself isn’t a big deal. But now, instead of a clean tablecloth between the early and late sittings, there’s just the bare table… the table where you can still see the traces of the wash cloth that wiped down the table. EEWWWWWW. Some of the silverware gets put on the table. EEWWWWWW. I learned to “intercept” the silverware before it hit the table and put it on my bread plate instead.

Doing away with tablecloths isn’t the only bad thing. Now instead of serving bread to each person before ordering your meal, they just put a platter of bread on the table for everyone to share. They also put pitchers of ice water on the table for everyone to help themselves to. This wouldn’t be a bad thing if you were just with family. But I like to sit at one of those big round tables that seat eight or ten people. You know… the ones in the middle of the dining room. Last night they sat down the bread by the guy next to me. He decided that he needed to see which pieces of the bread were soft before he chose the one he wanted. Then he passed the platter on to me… EEWWWWWW. I decided I didn’t want any bread.

NOTE TO BEAN-COUNTERS: Some things may look good on paper… and they aren’t!

A while back Carnival started offering their “Didja” (“didja” = “did you?”). They still have it here… only they don’t call it that.) Each night the “Didja” offers exotic stuff like snails, frog legs and the like. Tonight’s didja was alligator fritters. For me, every one of the didjas have always been notgunnas.

The menu has changed. They used to have two pages of stuff. One page was the stuff you could order every day and one page was for each day’s special stuff. The special stuff used to have three or four entries. Now there is only one page and seems to be one “special” of the day and everything else is what is available every day.

The thing I always look to for the first night’s dinner is the Chocolate Melting Cake… mmmmmmm-mmmmm good. I don’t usually even take the dessert menu. Tonight I took it just to check things out. There seemed to be fewer offerings than in the past, but I’m not sure on that one. Of course tonight there was only one thing to consider for dessert… Chocolate Melting Cake. For me, it is always the best dessert of the cruise. Except tonight it was more like soupy pudding… not like cake at all. It was still good, but just not quite as good as when it is 2/3 cake with pudding in the middle.

I do have to tell you that even though this post has seemed a bit negative, I’ve really had a smile on my face since setting foot on the ship. All of the staff has been cheerful and go out of their way to take care of folks. Our “room ninja” came by in the afternoon and like magic, he took care of some stuff we asked for. The bartenders seem to be better than usual… quick, efficient, and the drinks are all “well poured”.

That’s enough for now. It’s off to the Piano Bar for me. I’m told the entertainer in there is pretty good so I’ve got to go check it out. I’ve also got to check in on Bloody Mary to see how big of a condo we’re going to buy in South Florida from her winnings.

Next up is Santa Catalina Island

A Quickie on the Imagination

OK… get your mind out of the gutter… a “Quickie” means that I’m doing a “quickie cruise”. It’s a four-day on the Imagination out of Long Beach. And a four-day really is a quickie since you barely have time to unpack. I rarely go for a quickie. I like it to last much longer than this. But even thought it’s short, a quickie is still good… isn’t it?

Those of you that know me know that I usually do a “live from”. But this time I’m not going to sign up for internet since it’s only a quickie. If I can pick up free Internet at one of the ports, then maybe I’ll post during the cruise. Otherwise, I’ll just write as I go along and put up the posts when I get back. In my usual irreverent fashion, I’ll tell you the good, the bad or the ugly as and if it happens.

[This is being posted completely after the cruise as I did not get to any good internet places]

I’m going to start with the Internet on board. I don’t know if this falls into the good or bad category. They have instituted the new Internet scheme here on the Imagination… at least new to me. They have three different tiers of service: “Social”, “Value”, and “Premium”. Social is just access to some of the social networks.

Here’s what Carnival says about their “Social” plan: “Access the most popular social websites and applications. Includes: Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, LinkedIn, Facebook Messenger, WhatsApp, Snapchat and the most popular airline sites. Does not include access to other websites or apps.” The cost for this is five bucks for twenty-four hours or fifteen bucks for the cruise.

For “Value” Carnival says, “Surf all your favorite sites, including e-mail, news, sports, weather, banking and finance. Note: Does not support Skype calling or music streaming (eg. Spotify). This costs sixteen bucks for twenty-four hours or thirty-five bucks for the cruise.

The “premium” costs twenty-five bucks for a day or sixty bucks for a cruise. Carnival says, “From e-mail to Skype, our Premium plan offers the fastest possible connection, at speeds up to 3 times faster than our Value Plan. Supports Skype video calling, where coverage allows.”

I chose none of them. Thank you very much, but I think I’m going to continue boycotting Carnival’s internet. They’ve come a step closer… but no cupie doll. It’s still at least twice as expensive as it’s worth. Carnival likes to claim they offer exceptional value compared to land based vacations. Mostly that’s true, but they need to re-look at the internet charges. Till then my “live from” articles will only be posted when I get internet from ports or after the cruise is over. I guess that means they really aren’t exactly “live from” any more. Well… they are live in the sense that I’m doing the writing during the cruise and not after it’s over.

Boarding and all that stuff in Long Beach was good. We processed smoothly through the priority boarding and were on to the ship quickly. They have changed part of the processing for those that haven’t reached platinum status or purchased “Faster to the Fun”. Except for passengers with cabins on deck 4… I think it was just deck 4… everyone went through security first and then got their “sail & sign” cards inside. Then it is on to run the gauntlet past all the photographers and onto the ship. For us, all of that took just a few minutes.

Day 0… make that Day 0h… starts the minute I set my tootsies on board the ship and head off for a drink of the day! I rarely drink any kind of booze during the day… especially early in the afternoon. But there’s something about crossing the gang-plank onto a cruise ship that changes all that. For me it’s straight up to the Lido deck for a snack and a Carnival rum punch. I’m not usually a rum drinker, but there’s something about the “Funship Special” that’s mmmmmm-mmmmmm good. I always have one… or two… or three… or…

After boarding, I did a “walk-about” to check things out. I’ve been on this ship once before and on Inspiration (same class ship as this) a couple of times. But they’ve done some upgrades so I wanted to see what has changed. This is a nice ship even though it’s one of the older Fantasy class ships. As usual for all cruise ships, the maintenance is always all on-going. All of the facilities are like the other ships… gym, spa, restaurants, etc. They are good, and inviting places, but just smaller than the latest mega ships.

The only noticeable upgrade is the Serenity deck. On this ship, it’s on the faux poop deck. OK… there’s no such thing as a “faux poop deck”, but I just like saying “poop deck”… the highest point on the stern of the ship. On this ship the “faux poop deck” (Serenity Deck) is on the stern, but it’s two levels below the Lido deck. The Lido and the deck below it don’t go all the way to the stern so that makes it a “faux poop deck” because it’s open to the sun and sky.

Compared to the bigger and newer ships the Serenity area is quite small, but still has the nice chairs and a couple of hot tubs. I’m surprised they don’t have a bar back there because a bar is always a moneymaker. They did seem to have a waiter in the area, but I’m not sure if that was just for the “drink of the day” during the sail-away or if there will be one there all cruise long.

I’m disappointed this ship doesn’t have all the 2.0 upgrades. I really do like the Red Frog Pub as a place to hang out, and I like the Ferengie burger stuff along with the Blue Iguana and Red Frog Bars. I don’t expect any of that will ever make it’s way onto the Imagination.

Without saying much Carnival has continued to restrict the areas available to smokers. OK… don’t shoot me here… I’m just your dutiful cub reporter. It used to be that Carnival’s policy was that one side of the ship on all the open air decks were smoking areas. Now just a small portion of the Lido deck, furthest away from the buffet, is a smoking area. My Funatic friends would call this the “situation room”. Well, now there are only about 10 tables in the situation room smokers can choose from. There’s also a bar in the corner next to the “situation room” that’s a smoking bar. I’ll have more to report on this when I find out what else is available to smokers. No… I don’t smoke… but I have cruise friends that do and I think Carnival may be running them away.

Usually I’m in one of the Serenity hot tubs… with a frozen concoction to help me hang on… early in the cruise. But this time out of Long Beach it’s chilly… in the high 50’s or low 60’s at best. The forecast says it is going to stay that way for most of the cruise. Maybe it’ll be a little warmer when we get a bit farther south.

It’s time for the mustard off the hotdog drill, so I’ll stop for now and continue later.


Another year here already? – NOT POSSIBLE!

I don’t know about you, but I can’t believe another year is here already. It just isn’t possible. I mean… I only just stopped putting 2014 on my checks. It seems like just a tiny bit ago when I was standing in the middle of Key West’s Duval Street for the New Year’s doo-dah. That year I stood in front of the town’s most famous gay bar watching a drag queen… in a giant ruby red slipper being lowered from the second floor balcony. That was the 2011 to 2012 celebration. My New Year’s eve celebrations ever since have been pale by comparison.

This year I’m making no “New Year’s resolutions.” Instead I’m keeping the one I made standing there in the middle of Duval street in 2011 to 2012. That year I waited till the last minute to figure out what the resolution would be. At first, I thought I would resolve not to procrastinate so much. But I thought better of that and decided I would save that one for another time.

Instead, I resolved to make no more New Year’s resolutions. I’ve done a good job of keeping that one. I’m doing better than 99.9999% of the people in this world. I mean, they make a resolution a little before the “ball drops” at midnight… something like, “I’m gunna quit smoking this year.” As they are downing the new year’s first frozen concoction to help them hang on… just as they finish mumbling the words of “Auld Lang Syne”, they light-up. And so go the resolutions. By noon the next day most resolutions are in the trash can.

If were to make any resolutions… which I’m not… here is what I would do:

First… I would vow to make this blog what I originally intended; a weekly musing about the world in general, stuff about my travels, and in particular… fun in the sun. Since that was my original plan, it’s not a New Year’s resolution… but I’m gunna do it starting now.

I would resolve to not write about political stuff, but for this coming year it would be impossible not to make comments about “The Donald.” So I won’t make that a resolution. (Come on folks… “The Donald” for President… have we lost our minds… is that the best we can do? Give me a break. Imagine him as the Commander in Chief… with the military at his disposal to do what he wants… send all the Japanese in this country to internment camps. And with his finger on the button, I’ll have to move to some place the nuclear fall-out won’t reach.) See… New Year’s day isn’t over so there would have been no point in making the “no politics” resolution.

I will try to take a look at the funny or absurd side of politics. I’ll try to do it without political slant. I’ll just “call out” anyone that deserves it. I thought about running for President myself… you know, doing an Alfred E. Newman type campaign (What, me worry?)… or a Pat Paulson type campaign. (For those that don’t know who these guys are… Google is your friend.) But if I did that… “run for President”… someone would take me seriously and the fun would go out of it. So I’ll be poking a lot of fun without running. Oh… and Donald… Yer fired!

Another resolution might be to consider giving up so many frozen concoctions to help me hang on. But since I’ve developed a taste for Kahlua and Bailey’s Irish Cream, I’ve already having fewer frozen concoctions. In fact, as I write this I’m having a few sips of my new favorite “nectar”.

Since I’ve been accused of being “over-sexed”, I thought I would… Well, that isn’t one either since I gave up most sex in the spring of 2014.

Then there are those resolutions that are to do good for mankind. I applaud those kind of resolutions. Since I’ve already spent a large portion of my life in the service of mankind… you know, keeping the world free from Democracy, I think I already have that square filled. So no resolutions in this area. OK… I donate some time and a bit of cash, but that’s an on-going thing. That said, if you are looking to do something for someone, here’s a simple way to help out someone that isn’t asking for much, but needs the help just the same. For about the price of a frozen concoction to help you hang on… you can help make someone’s New Year a little better. (By the way… this came to me from a reliable source that knows these folks. They are real and this is not a scam.) This brother and sister lost their dad just before Christmas and their mother a little before that. They had to borrow money to pay for their dads cremation. Click HERE for the link to the fund raiser.:

I do not resolve to loose weight (I’m already just right)… or to quit smoking (I already did that)… or to dress better (shorts, t-shirts and flip-flops are just fine for me)… or to get closer to god (I’m going to be there soon enough)… or to make more money. Well, I might have to reconsider that last one. But for now, no self improvement resolutions for me. I already get enough directions and instructions from Bloody Mary to more than take care of this area.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t have anything against New Year’s resolutions. If you think about it, these resolutions are about hope. Each New Year brings new hope… hope for a better you… hope for a better life… hope for a better world. Maybe that’s why I don’t feel compelled to have a resolution… I have a good me, a good life and despite what some “down in the mouth talking heads” might say, I live in a pretty good world.

So, there you have it. In keeping with the spirit of the 2011– to – 2012 resolution, no new resolutions for me. No sir-eee. I would have alaready “baled out” by now with some lame excuse any way.

I’ll stop here so I can get this posted while it’s still New Year’s Day. Naw… I’ll post it later. No one I know will have clear enough eyes to read on New Year’s Day anyway.

Oh… stay tuned for next weeks musing. Sign up to receive my posts with your email address in the “Subscribe Here” place in the top right column of this page.

Boat drinks for everyone.

Bleeding Blue

My friends know that when I was growing up if I got a scratch, I bled Dodger Blue. Over the years my blood became normal… well kinda normal. My love of baseball and of the Dodgers faded to almost oblivion. However, in the last few years my blood has taken on a tinge of that blue again.

Now this year ‘Dem Bums” are in the playoffs again. It’s almost a reflex for me to say, “Go Dodgers.” But this year there’s a different “blue” in the mix… the Cubbies.

You see… the Cubbies haven’t won the National League pennant and gone to the World Series in 70 years… they haven’t won the World Series in 107 years. In those 107 years they have lost in the world series 7 times… lost the National League  Championship playoffs three times… and the Division championships three times.

Yesterday, the Cubbies won their wild card playoff game and go to the Division championships again. This time against the St. Louis Cardinals. Don’t you think it’s about time the Cubbie fans… the long suffering Cubbie fans have “their year?”

Well… yes but only sorta. You see… as it stands the Cubbies are not playing the Dodgers. So for now, my Dodger blue blood is also Cubbie blue blood. I really do hope they win… maybe win it all. So for now I can say, “Go Cubbies!”

But… if the Cubbies play the Dodgers for the National League Pennant… I guess my blood is going to curdle.

The Mother Road – Part 1

Get Your Kicks On Route 66

A little while ago I teased ya’ll with a bit about the adventures I was starting on late this spring. Then I disappeared off the face of the earth, and the blog till I ended up in Key West a few of weeks ago. Since then, I’ve “had my head down” writing the first draft a new book from inspiration I got while in Key West… “Key West With a bit of Rum, A Shot of Tequila, and A Grain of Salt” (working title). While working on that I’ve ignored the blog and “Travels With a Naked Parrot.” Well, this starts back in the beginning of the adventure when I spent a little time on route 66… with a Naked Parrot. I hope you like it. Most of the pics are on my facebook page.

As I was driving into town… trying not to smooth out all the folks just walking down the middle of the street… I heard from the peanut gallery:

Barraaaakkk – Look at that ass! Look at that Ass! – Barraaaakkk

At first I thought Sgt Pepper was talking about a guy wandering into the street without looking. But instead, a little ways into the town there was a four legged animal just walking along the street. I turned and sternly said to Sgt. Pepper, “That’s a burro.”  I laughed to myself and under my breath said, “that guy’s the ass”.

I thought… hummm, “burro” is Spanish, so what is the translation. With the help of “Uncle Google” I found out that burro translates to “ass”. So the guy wandering into the street was indeed a burro.

The town I was driving into was Oatman¸ Arizona. I first passed through here by accident. I was on a trek to Wally-World in Florida. I hear ya… why in the world would I go all the way to Florida when there’s a Wally-World close by in La-La Land. Well, let’s just say for now that I was on a quest. I played “destiny road” on the CD player as we headed out each morning of the trek… really, I did.

Anyway, on that earlier trek I sorta got lost. I missed the sign pointing to Kingman, Arizona via the main road. So, a few miles later down the road, on the Arizona side of the Colorado river, I finally came to a sign that pointed to Kingman. It didn’t take long till I knew this was not the way I intended. But since the sign did show this was a road to Kingman I kept going.

The area looked very interesting. But since I didn’t have time to explore anything I just drove on trying to make good time to Wally-World. At that time I said to myself, “someday I’ll come back here and check it out.” This was that trip I promised myself I would make.

Signs all along the way proclaimed the road was, “Historic Route 66”… the “Mother Road”. It’s a two-lane road that winds away from the Colorado River. It heads off into the nothingness of the Arizona desert and up into the Black mountains. One of my favorite characters from movies, Capt’n Barbosa, would have said, “Arrrrggggghhhh, they be more like foot-hills.”


It isn’t a bad drive but you can’t make good time. The farther you go, the more twisty it gets. If you make this trip, don’t be in a rush. Pull over and look back toward the river. It’s an amazing view and pictures just don’t do it justice. As you get close to Oatman the road gets a even more twisty. For the last couple of miles you can only do about 35 or 40 MPH. I wasn’t in a hurry so I was only doing maybe only 30 MPH.

There are lots of stories about Oatman. Perhaps they are more in the realm of “lore.” If I were to do a lot of digging I could find out the real truth. But that’s the lure of the town. The stuff could be true, and I choose to believe everything the town folk say… even if the aim is to attract tourists.

Even the town’s name¸ Oatman, evokes a bit of a mystique. Olive Oatman was captured by Indians when she was 14 years old. Stories tell of her years with the Indians. After five years she was she was released. One story is that here release was near the current site of the town. According to some, she lived in the town of Oatman till she married and moved to Texas.

The Olive Oatman Saloon

The Olive Oatman Saloon

A little before you get to town you start to see signs of the town’s mining heritage. To the side of the road you can see “tailings” from various mines in the area. Starting in the early 1900s and until World War II, Oatman was a mining town… GOLD! For a while it was a “boom town”. One of the signs in town proclaims that the area produced 1.8 million ounces of gold.  At today’s prices, that would be a couple of BILLION dollars.

“Route 66” goes right through the middle of the town. Of course Route 66 doesn’t even exist any more. But don’t tell that to the town-folk. Every store, mercantile, emporium and tourist trap has some kind of sign exhorting the town’s heritage of a Route 66 stop. Indeed, Route 66 kept the town alive after the gold mines closed. The town became a stop along the route. Eateries, hotels, shops and gas stations were kept in business by “mother road” travelers.


The Oatman “hotel” proudly proclaims that Clark Gable and Carol Lombard stayed there on their way west during their honeymoon.  I have something of a romantic view of what it must have been like during the glory days of Route 66. Folks traveling west were on an adventure. I vaguely remember the adventure it was when my parents moved from Georgia to California and we traveled portions of Route 66 to get there.

Unfortunately, today the Oatman Hotel is not a hotel. I would love to have stayed there to imagine what it might have been like to sit down to dinner next to Gable and Lombard. Of course today it’s a grande tourista trap. But who cares. There is a coffee shop. Go in and check the place out. For just a minute you can pretend to be a famous actor from the past.

The Oatman Hotel


My favorite... of course. *smiley face*

My favorite… of course. *smiley face*

When the highway bypassed Oatman… and Route 66 was “decommissioned”, it became virtually a ghost town. Today it’s only the tourists that keep the place alive. There are shops and trinket vendors in every little place in town. The owners have come up with a lot of clever names to pull in the visitors. “The Bucktooth Burro”, “Fast Fanny’s Place” (my favorite), “The Classy Ass”, “Jackass Ron’s”, and “The Nugget Corral” are just a few of the most clever names for the tourist traps.

They even have daily gunfights in the streets… right on time at 11:15 and 3:30. I don’t think they ever really had gun fights in the town, but it’s just another way to entertain the tourists and keep the town alive.

Gun fights and bed races

Gun fights and bed races

The biggest draw is the wild burros that wander into town each day. After the gold “petered out”… and the miners went off to mine copper for the war effort… the miners just released their burros into the Arizona desert. The burros that wander into town today are decedents of the ones the miners released.

I started on a walk-about down Route 66 when:

Barraaaakkk – Where do the burros go at night?  – Barraaaakkk

Before I could answer one of the old timers working on setting up his trinket stand answered with a perfectly straight face, “Wherever they want to go”… and then went back to his work.

That made me ponder… where they really go. Do they really just wander off into the hills?… or does the local tourist bureau have them herded to a nearby coral so they will still be here for the next day’s tourists. I considered hanging around to really find out. But I decided to take the old timer’s word for it.

Barraaaakkk Watch Look out!!! Watch yur step  – Barraaaakkk.

Ah yes… the Oatman two-step. You see, those burros really do “go” wherever they want to. That means Route 66 through the middle of Oatman… and the only street of consequence… is peppered with “road apples” from the burros. So indeed, watch yur step.

Look-out. You'll be doing the Oatman 2 step

Look-out. You’ll be doing the Oatman 2 step

I stopped in at a t-shirt shop just before I left town. The last thing I ever need is another t-shirt. But I couldn’t help myself. This shop had shirts that were not like all of the ones I’ve collected over the years… they were for Route 66. So I had to have one. Ummmmm, make that three.

Stopped in for a Route 66 T-Shirt

Stopped in for a Route 66 T-Shirt


Next up, The Mother Road – Part 2.

A Rant

I don’t rant about much. I’m a happy person writing about my adventures and generally lovin life. But this time Carnival Cruise Lines has got me going. So bear with me while I vent a bit.

I hate it when someone insults my intelligence. I hate it even worse when a corporation does it. Are those people sitting in their corporate board rooms so full of themselves and their own arrogance that they think the rest of the world… and their own customers don’t have enough intelligence to see through the crapola they try to pass off. I think they must be… full of it that is.

So you ask, what’s the latest that has got me off into this rant. Why it’s Carnival Cruise Line of course. For years and years they have had the policy that people could bring water and sodas on board their ships. To be specific, bringing bottled water and bottled soda was allowed… and that was in writing.

Now the boardroom has come up with a new idea. Do not allow bottled water or soda to be brought on board. To make up for that they are now selling 12 packs of water for $2.99 if you pre-purchace it before the cruise… $4.99 if you buy it after the cruise begins. These will be 500ml bottles with the Carnival Logo on them.

So you figure it out. Most stores sell 24 packs with prices ranging from $2.50 for the store brands to $5.00 for “designer brands.” I generally pay about $3.50 for a 24 pack.

To “sell” this to their customers, Carnival claims that they are instituting this policy for “safety” reasons. They claim that since some customers smuggle booze on board, it is unsafe because some of those “unmonitored” customers will drink too much. Yeah… that’s the ticket.

If they were really concerned about safety, then they wouldn’t delay a month to institute the policy. And if they were really worried about customers drinking too much, they would limit their alcohol sales much more than they do. There are plenty of drunks on their ships that never smuggle a drop of booze on board.

Now Carnival has taken another step. Booze sales on board ship is a huge business for the cruise lines. Bottles of booze are sold in duty free shops on board, but are held by the cruise lines till the end of the cruise. Also, bottles of booze purchased while ashore in ports of calls must be checked in when re-boarding the ship.  For years it has been Carnival policy to distribute booze purchased on board or while in ports of call on the last night  of the cruise. Sure, folks cracked open their booze and Carnival didn’t get those revenues. Now they are instituting a new policy of requiring their customers to stand in line and pick up their purchased booze the morning they are getting off the ship.

Once again, Carnival is claiming “Safety”. They claim they don’t want unmonitored booze drinking the last night of the cruise. Who do they think they are fooling. Some folks will be getting into a car and driving around 7 AM. Are they going to cut off booze sales early in the evening to prevent someone getting behind the wheel the next day. If it was really a safety issue they would do just that.

If they were only worried about the “bottom line” they would do just what they are doing. They would continue to sell booze at their bars till the wee hours of the morning. They would not allow customers with purchased booze to pick it up till just before they get off the boat. And then they would come up with some BS justification to try to convince their customers the board members just have their customer’s well being and safety in mind.

Well, board members… we’re not that gullible. I understand that you are trying to maximize profit. You see that to be your job. Well, this time you’ve stepped on your dangly-bits. The King wears no clothes… and Pinocchio’s nose grows even longer. Next time just tell the truth.

Leader of the Carnival Board Room.

Leader of the Carnival Board Room.

Travels With a Naked Parrot

Spring Break

I haven’t posted anything here for quite a while. You see, it’s been a long cold winter and I’ve been hunkered down trying not to freeze to death. Yeah… I hear ya. I’ve been in a nice warm house, so it’s not really like I would freeze to death… and it’s not really hunkerin’ down. It’s just that with the short, dark, dismal, cold days I don’t go off on many adventures. And it’s mostly adventures I write about. Ok… there was that short six day cruise in early January, but since that was a Pacific cruise, that hardly counts. I didn’t even go in the water.

But finally… FINALLY!!! It’s Spring Break!

The good thing about not being in college… or any school… is that I can take spring break anytime I want. I don’t care how old you are, everyone deserves a spring break. For several years, I went to the Northernmost Caribbean and participated in the happy times. The good thing then was that I got to be there for all of the spring break weeks. Starting around the end of February and going till the first week or so of April, the Northernmost Caribbean fills up with “Spring Break.” And I got to be there for all the weeks.

Yes… some years I had to go to work at a regular day-job. Just the same, the days got warmer… the water got warmer… and each year those luscious mounds of white sand got more luscious. I would go to the beach both week-end days for sure, and I would often go dip my toes in the water after work once Daylight Savings Time kicked in.

And now that I’ve traded in my “day-job” for writing, I can go anytime I want. I can stay as long as I want. Of course, there are still deadlines so I tend to cram all the stuff I can in before spring comes along. I work long days and nights… kinda hunkering down while it’s cold and wintry. Then when spring breaks I’m a little ahead of the game. I can spend as much time getting a fresh sunburn and having as many frozen concoctions to help me hang on as I want.

The last couple of years have been a bit different. I sit here today, far from the Northernmost Caribbean, daydreamin’ and wishin’ I was there. I’ve been spending a lot of time lately on the Internet looking at inviting pics of tropical places. What makes it worse is that the weather has turned “nice” where I am… and I’m not in one of those inviting tropical places. So, instead of working on one of the books I am in the middle of writing, I started dreamin-n-schemin on the months ahead.

First, I’ve already booked a quickie. No… not that kind of quickie. I’ve booked a four day cruise out of Long Beach going to Catalina Island, and Ensenada. OK, it’s not the Caribbean, but this year, it’s the best I’m going to do for now.

Then in May sometime, I’m finally heading for the Northernmost Caribbean. But I’m not going directly there. For some time I’ve been working on a book titled, “Travels With a Naked Parrot”. (That was the first working title but then, aren’t all parrots naked… so maybe it will be “Travels With Sergeant Pepper.”)

“Travels With a Naked Parrot” was inspired by a John Steinbeck book I read as a teenager… “Travels Charlie”. Steinbeck pulled a travel trailer behind his car and went all around the United States. It was a sort of  a “discover America” journey. He took his dog, “Charlie” along with him; thus the title. After reading “Travels With Charlie”, I thought that someday I could make a trip like that and write about it. By the way… a lot of folks now believe that Steinbeck, being the novelist he was, sat in his travel trailer and made up most of the book.

So… this year as I make my way to the Northernmost Caribbean, I’m going to make a bunch of stops along the way. I’ll be taking my time getting there doing research. No, I’m not trying to “discover America”. Instead, I’m going to go to all the places that I’ve said, “One of these days I’m going to go there.” Well this year, I’m really going to go there.

I’ll be taking my parrot, Sergeant Pepper, with me. I’ll share some of my “Travels with a Naked Parrot” with you here on the blog. I’m going to keep kind of a journal and I’ll be posting stuff here. Of course, you’ll have to wait till I finish the book to get it all. Just the same, I hope you can have fun with me along the way.

Next Stop – The Colorado River