Escape to Key West – Part 2

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I can’t believe it’s already been a week since I was in the Keys. I guess time goes fast when you’re having fun. It seems that every time I get ready to write about the rest of the trip, something else pops up. Although I started writing this a week ago Monday, I finally forced myself to finish up.

Key Largo – My time in Key Largo was cut short. Little Bastard Alberto was churning up in the Yucatan. While it wasn’t a complete loss… I did get one afternoon of SCUBA diving in. Little Bastard Alberto made diving any more a bad idea. Sgt Pepper and I did spend an evening at Sharkey’s foot tappin’ (claw tappin’) to a good old-fashioned rock-n-roll band. Then it was on down the road.

One of the things I wanted to see was how much damage remained from last fall’s Big Bitch Irma. Mostly I discovered how fickle she was. Most of the area seems to have been untouched… at least that’s what it looked like. Maybe it has been fixed up. But starting about mile marker 85 there were places that were destroyed.

Most houses or businesses were in great shape. But then it was bizarre. In between the perfect condition places something would be utterly devastated… with no chance of repair. Then drive along for miles with no apparent damage, and then BAM… another place all smashed up. For the most part, there was only a little damage remaining.

With Alberto brewing, it was raining on and off. Sgt Pepper is easily scared by such stuff, so rather than seeing much along the way we only stopped at the Sunset Grille. The Sunset Grille is right at the southern end of Marathon. I think there used to be a man-made beach there, but if there was, it was completely eroded away. Otherwise, everything else there, including the pool and patio, were in great shape.

We only stopped for a bite to eat. I had a Cuban… I’m driving so no booze for me. But Sgt Pepper on the other hand had two Tiki Parrots. Really… that’s a booze drink they serve there. I don’t know what’s in it, but after two, Sgt Pepper needed me to carry him to the car. Then it was on down the road. Next stop… Bone Island

Barrrrrark… Are we there yet?… Barrrrrark

Key West – Thanks to Little Bastard Alberto, it rained almost the whole time on Cayo Hueso. Cayo Hueso is the original Spanish name of Key West. It was a heavy rain most of the time with a little bit of wind. But I wasn’t about to let the rain spoil my fun.

I took a look around to see how Bone Island is doing after last fall’s Big Bitch Irma. As it turns out, there is very little damage remaining that I could see.

All of my favorite places for liquid refreshments were fine. I suspect some may have had new coats of paint. In any case, everything was bright and shiny. I took a couple of pics to show you what I mean:

A "La Te Da Cosmo"... mmmmm-mmmmm good

A “La Te Da Cosmo”… mmmmm-mmmmm good

 

The best Painkillers this side of the island of Jost Van Dyke

The best Painkillers this side of the island of Jost Van Dyke

There was one exception… a t-shirt shop on the corner of Green and Whitehead was almost destroyed. It used to be the “Tropical Corner”. This was the first T-shirt shop most cruise ship passengers would come to as they walked into Key West. The place right next door was where they sold tickets for the “hop on – hop off” bus. It’s gone. The following pic shows the before and the after of the stores.

Hard to believe this is the same place... but it is. Before Big Bitch Irma... and after.

Hard to believe this is the same place… but it is. Before Big Bitch Irma… and after.

I’m going to leave out all the debauchery along Duval Street. You’ll just have to buy the book when it comes out. I do want to tell you about one special place. I was making my way to some of my old haunts… with Sgt Pepper on my shoulder. He was suffering a bit of a hangover from the two Tiki Parrots yesterday afternoon and was being kinda quiet.

I was peddling my bicycle on my way along Elisabeth street from Caroline, going to Amelia and then over to Duval. (Actually, I was headed over to visit folks… and a “painkiller” at the Rum Bar.) Suddenly Sgt Pepper went berserk.

“Barrrrrark, barrrrrark, barrrrrark, barrrrrark, barrrrrark, barrrrrark, barrrrrark, barrrrrark, , barrrrrark, barrrrrark, barrrrrark.

When I was finally able to calm him down a little bit and asked, “What’s wrong?”

He answered, “Barrrrrark, Nancy Forrester’s barrrrrark”

He flew off my shoulder… he never does that… and landed on a sign at 518 Elisabeth Street. It was a sign for Nancy Forrester’s Secret Garden.Now I knew about the “Garden of Eden”… the roof-top place on top of the Bull & Whistle. So I wondered what Sgt. Pepper was getting me into.

Well, I have to tell you… Nancy Forrester’s garden is way better than the one on the top of the Bull & Whistle. Nancy’s garden is in her backyard. It’s a place where she rescues parrots. It’s small and way underfunded, but she is currently caring for 23 unwanted parrots. She relies entirely on donations. (More about donations in a minute.)

I couldn’t believe it…. nobody wanted these parrots. They were beautiful!. Nancy spent a lot of time telling us about what she does there. Of course, I already knew that a parrot is a lifelong friend, partner, and companion. It takes commitment to have a parrot. A parrot can live to be 100 years old. So if you want a parrot, it is indeed a lifelong commitment.

While we were there, Nancy introduced us to two of the parrots she is caring for. First was Mr. Peaches… an astonishing Moluccan Cockatoo. Mr. Peaches would sing and dance, but maybe most amazing is that he would play games on visitors smartphones. Really! He learned to use his tongue on the screen to play games. These Cockatoos are an endangered species, and Nancy wants to do what she can.

Mr. Peaches lovin' the music.

Mr. Peaches lovin’ the music.

 

Next up was “Batman”… a magnificent McCaw He was a bit of a talker. He and Sgt. Pepper carried on quite a conversation. I have no clue what they were talking about since I don’t speak parrot. But knowing Sgt. Pepper, he was getting information on all the hot chicks in the area.

Batman spreading his wings.

Batman spreading his wings.

You can tell Nancy is passionate about what she does. She welcomes visitors to her garden and will spend as much time talking about her passion as you would like. Her garden (and her kindness) are one of those little-known places in Key West everyone should visit.

Don’t be shy. There’s just a little path along the side of her house that leads to her “Garden.” If you weren’t looking for it… or had Sgt. Pepper with you… you almost would miss it. From the front, it looks like many of the houses in Key West. But the path does lead to the garden and Nancy welcomes everyone.

She asks for a 10 dollar per person (or per parrot) donation. It was worth way more than the $10 bucks. As soon as I got home, I sent her some more to help out. You can donate with a credit card or Paypal. With the weather the way it was, she hasn’t been getting many visitors and needs to care for a lot of birds.

It was a great way to spend the late morning. Sgt. Pepper and I sat there sort of playing with all the parrots… feeding them some banana chips… talking with them… and listening to Nancy tell about the parrots. Even Sgt. Pepper learned stuff.

We were there for at least two hours. It was sprinkling on and off most of the time. I would have stayed longer, but it started raining harder, so we left.

I spent the rest of the day doing Key West stuff… visiting old haunts, and having liquid refreshments. But my time at Nancy Forrester’s Secret Garden is one of my best Key West memories ever. Anyone visiting Key West owes it to themselves to visit and spend some time there.

Visit Nancy’s website or her facebook page.

Click here for Nancy’s facebook page

Click here for Nancy’s web site.

The trip to the Keys was way too short, and I spent too much time hunkered down due to all the rain from Little Bastard Alberto. There were no sunsets… no walk-abouts (or crawls) down Duval… and none of the adventures I hoped for.

So… another trip is in order. SOON.

“Barrrrrark, When are we going back… when are we going back?  barrrrrark”

Read part 1 – Escape to Key West – Part 1

 

 

Escape to Key West

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I’m in serious need of an escape. And Key West is the perfect place to escape to. They are accepting of anyone and anything. I’m pretty sure you could march butt naked down Duval Street with a bottle of Patron, drinking shots and with a boom box blasting out LMFAO’s Shot, Shot, Shot… shot, shot – Shot, Shot, Shot… shot, shot, EVERYBODY”… and no one would bat an eye.

 

So that’s the first thing I’m gunna do when I get there. Well… except for the naked part… and ok… maybe not down the middle of Duval. But the Patron Tequila and the shots are on… along with a few of my other favorites.

You may think that because I live in the Northernmost Caribbean (Northwest Florida on Kokomo Island,) it would be easy to get to Key West. After all, it’s Florida… just a hop, skip and a jump. But you would be wrong. It’s not so easy.

First, I have to get off Kokomo Island. The mail boat only comes once a month, and since Jimmy Buffett quit flying his Albatross, he won’t come to pick me up anymore. So I have to pack the magic bus with everything I own to have enough stuff to make the arduous journey. And don’t forget… SCUBA gear… enough stuff to almost sink the magic bus.

Ummmm… about the magic bus. I can’t tell you much about it or the genie letting me use it will take it back. Let’s just say, that it will get me across the expanse of water from Kokomo Island to the mainland. Once there, it turns into sort of a modern version of a 60’s hippie VW bus.

MagicBus2

That’s all the magic I’m allowed to use. After that, I have to drive it down the highways and byways just like any other vehicle. It does have other magical properties, but I’m not allowed to use it except in emergencies. One day I’m going to find out what that red button in the middle of the dash does.

So… after crossing the great channel I’ve still got about 700 miles to go to get to Key West. I hear you… you’re screaming, SEVEN HUNDRED MILES!… But you’re already in Florida… how can it be that far?” Well believe me, it is. And that last 100 miles is down a two-lane road. The lookie-loos driving that road are going so sloooooow. It seems like they are always going along at 20 mph trying to find turn off to “No Name Key”… or to the “Square Grouper Bar and Grille.” There’s no way you can make good time down that road… the “Overseas Highway.”

But I always have a plan for that last 100 miles. I take a separate day for that part. I stop in Key Largo and spend a day or two there. Key Largo is the SCUBA capital of the world. This may be the only tourist area in the world that has more SCUBA diver operations than T-shirt shops.

I spend a day or two or three in Key Largo SCUBA diving. That way I can have breakfast at Bogie’s… “Here’s looking at you kid.” I also have a mahi-mahi fish dinner at Mrs. Macs in Key Largo.

After my time in Key Largo, I spend a whole day driving that 100 miles down the Overseas Highway… U.S. 1. I go to No Name Key… have a slice of pizza at the No Name Bar… and stop in at the Square Grouper.

By the way… this and all the places I’ll be stopping at are all part of an upcoming book, “Travels With a Naked Parrot.” I’m making this trip with a parrot. His name is Sergeant Pepper. You’ll recognize him and me because I go almost everywhere with him. He’s perched on my shoulder most of the time.

So off I go on a week-long trip to Key Weird. I hear it already:

“Barrrrak, Are we there yet… Barrrrrak.

Read more about the trip at: Escape to Key West – Part 2

 

 

I Support the 2nd Amendment

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OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Maybe the most talked about topic in recent months is gun control… or perhaps the need to have more… or perhaps to have less of it. Sometimes I think it’s about supporting the person on your side of the fence.

Before I continue… I’m sure that many of the social media posts on the subject and some that repost them have never read the 2nd amendment. So, here it is:

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

 That’s it… nothing more and nothing less. Nothing about hand-guns… nothing about AR-15s… nothing about tanks, bazookas or rocket-propelled-grenades. Go ahead. Check it out for yourself. I’ll wait right here till you get back from Googling it…

Now, here’s what I think. It’s clear to me that the “Founding Fathers” were afraid that the United States would not remain free without a “well regulated Militia.” There was no standing military at the time… only state Militias.

And the Militias of the time were not full time… these were citizen soldiers much like our reserves or National Guard. Most importantly here, these citizen soldiers used their personal weapons when called upon. So it was absolutely necessary for them to “keep and bear arms.”

Today, our militia… the military, reserves and National Guard… provide our soldiers and citizen soldiers any arms they need. Still, in a dire emergency… like when Mexico or Canada invades, we may need more than our Army, Marines, Navy, US Air Force, Coast Guard, National Guard and Reserves have.

In that case, we may have to call on every able-bodied citizen to take the weapons out of their closets to defend our nation against the hoards attacking us.

Now, who should be allowed to have those guns in their closets? Well… here’s where the pissing contest begins. But I will start with some I think everyone will agree with me on.

  1. Terrorists that have claimed allegiance to an organization intent on causing harm to the United States or United States citizens SHOULD NOT HAVE GUNS.
  2.  Convicted violent felons that have committed armed crimes… particularly if they have already used a weapon in the commission of a crime SHOULD NOT HAVE GUNS.
  3.  Crazy and berserk persons who clearly intend violent harm to themselves or others SHOULD NOT HAVE GUNS.

OK… see that wasn’t so hard. We can all find some stuff we can agree on. Let’s see if we can find some more.

  1. Guns should not be allowed in a courtroom except for law enforcement officials.
  2. Guns should not be allowed at political rallies except for law enforcement officials.
  3. Six-year-olds should not be allowed to purchase guns… maybe not even seven-year-olds.
  4. No one, except law enforcement and military (militia), will be allowed to purchase 50 cal. machine guns, bazookas, or rocket propelled-grenades.

See… we can find ground for common sense laws. I think we can all agree on everything I’ve put out there so far. Well… except maybe that last one on 50 cal. machine guns. I mean, some may claim that they need that for hunting hawgs… or for their collection… or for self-defense of their apartment. But for now, I’ll assume 50 cal. machine guns should be banned from private ownership.

There are already lots of laws controlling guns. There are laws in every one of the 50 states and at the federal level that in one form or another are those I’ve mentioned above. In fact, if you re-read the 2nd amendment, there is nothing about private ownership… NOTHING!!! The founding fathers were very specific… they intended guns for the militia.

Lawmakers, Attorney Generals, and Supreme Court Justices have all agreed that the 2nd amendment does not provide for private gun ownership. Now you shouldn’t take my word for that. I mean, this is the internet. Anybody can say anything. So go ahead, look it up. Come back here when you’re done. I’ll wait for you.

Okay. You say we need guns so that the hoards from Canada don’t invade. We’ve all seen it… “No one would ever try to take over Merica because of all the guns here.” I do have a proposal for this contingency in a minute, but let’s look at how much sense this proposed defense makes.

Yep… if the hoards did invade, we would have a lot of guns for them to overcome. Since they know that, they would come at us with aircraft, tanks, and armored personnel carriers. How well do you think the guns you have at home would do against that. And… they would have 50 cal machine guns, bazookas, and rocket-propelled grenades. As you try to defend your apartment with your handgun, they would call in an air strike and make you disappear. Or that tank would put a round into your bedroom where your loved ones are hunkered down.

Now… about that proposal I have. You say you still want a gun for defense against the hoards invading our country. I say GREAT! I admire your patriotism. So here’s my proposal. Join our militia. (Reserves, National Guard, etc.) Buy your weapon of choice… pistol, AR-15 or even a bazooka. You will be trained in the proper use of many weapons and how to properly defend your apartment.

In fact, I think this should be required of every American. Stand up for your country by being willing to die for it. Once you’ve joined the military, the weapon(s) of your choice will be stored in the armory. You can check it out to go to the practice range on the military installation… any time you want. You need to maintain proficiency, so you will be required to check it out at least once a year to take it to the range.

If the hoards do make it ashore in Montana, then the weapons will be passed out to all our militia. Our great national defense will begin. With every man and woman armed, just let the hoards try something.

Now… if we can just find a defense against the zombie apocalypse.

Next up on the subject… More ways to support the 2nd amendment: a handgun in every home.

But first, I’ve got to take a little trip to the Florida Keys. After all, I seriously need an escape to a land the hoards won’t invade. Zombies are another thing. Zombies seem to like Key West, but at least I’ll have no worries about the hoards.

 

 

Donald… Do you think we’re stupid?

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We interrupt the regularly scheduled blog to bring you this BS alert.
On May 29, 2018, Donald Trump gave a speech in Nashville. In  that speech he said:

“In the end, in the end, Mexico is going to pay for the wall. I’m just telling you that.”
“They are going to pay for the wall and they are going to enjoy it. OK? They are going to enjoy it.”

Now I don’t know about you, but I know bull shit when I see it… or in this case, when I hear it. I call bull shit… BULL SHIT.

What makes me mad is that Donald must think I’m stupid. There’s no way Mexico is going to pay for the wall. I know it… everyone knows it. I don’t care how you wrap it, spin it, or BS your way around it. Donald is spewing pure BULL SHIT.

Here’s what Mexico’s president said on twitter:

MexPresNoWallNow my question for you is… does Donald think you are stupid. Or… does he think you are gullible. Does he really think you will believe his BULL SHIT?

I know many Trump supporters. But the ones I know are not stupid… and I know they are not gullible. So you guys chime in. How is it you let this go by the wayside? How is it you let him insult your intelligence? I know you are too smart to believe this BS. So you tell me… why do you let him insult you?

Tomorrow back to our regularly scheduled blog:
“I support the 2nd Amendment.”

Politically Correct

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It’s been a while since I’ve posted. I started this blog to share fun stuff with folks. I also wanted to be able to speak my peace on stuff. One of my goals was to have an intelligent commentary and discussion of things that impact our lives.

But… speaking my peace never happened. I have friends across the spectrum of opinions. Opinions are like noses (and other things), everybody has one. I was afraid that I might offend some of my friends, so I just left out at least half of what I wanted this blog to be.

What bothers me most these days is people I consider dear friends “sharing” posts without checking out the validity of the post. There is so much “fake” stuff on the internet. People blindly re-post the fake stuff because it’s on their side of the fence. Of course, it’s all false or misleading… or misdirection, but that doesn’t stop the re-post.

But I’ve had #ENOUGH of the political correctness.

So I say to my friends, “Please, please, don’t take my posts on political stuff personally. I want to express an opinion for you to consider. I hope I communicate with thought and maybe a little insight for you to think about. I also want to debunk some of those bogus posts that are re-posted a lot.

You don’t have to agree with me. In fact, I hope you take the time to thoughtfully express differences if you have them. Although this is a “monitored” blog, differing opinions will always be posted if they are not just blasting people for having an opinion. Excessive profanity or personal attacks will not clear the filter.

With all that said, I’m going to start posting again. I will continue to post fun stuff as often as I can. In fact, I’m going to be posting about a “road trip” to Key West. But… I can no longer ignore all the crapola that’s flying around and will be posting about that too.

Next post… “I Support the Second Amendment”